Short Stories

She's Carefully Unemotional

Looking in the mirror, I can feel my temperature rising and my heart pumping with excitement. I want to feel alone. My mouth is dry and I have trained myself to fight tears. I don't have to worry about crying unless I want to. Emotions are nothing to me now. I am all dried out but I must admit it hurts. As crazy as I seem, I wouldn't have it any other way. I began to fix the dark lines starting to form on my face. Everything is starting to blur together. I sigh, then a deep breath to prepare myself to go back out into action. Acting mode. I am the closest thing to a robot. I have been able to fake feelings and emotions. Almost even convincing myself. But there is no escaping the truth, it will find you no matter how hard you try to fight or how long you think you can hide. That is why I am here now. I turn slowly towards the door and open it. I lift my head up and walk as if I have confidence and power. 

We enjoy a nice bottle of cabernet sauvignon on top of a blanket under the stars in his backyard. Not much conversation, we both want sex. Sex with passion that will cease after we both climax. That's the best part of this arrangement; we have sex for ourselves and not each other so it's all lust and always a climax. We keep each other around by way of attraction and sweet lies.

Sometimes I feel like he can see through me. Then I realize, after his inability to read my eyes, that he can't. I wish he could. I see him. I see him differently than I have seen anybody before. But he wouldn't understand me. Not because I'm complicated or anything but I don't feel anything anymore. I don't think he feels much either. Which is probably why I am so addicted. I am drawn to the idea that emotions can be controlled and turned off at will. That is all this relationship is, it's selfish and simple. But why do I hurt still? Pain is the only thing that moves me. Pain is the only thing I understand. I have gotten used to pain. I have accepted it and twisted it. It works for me now. 

I want to scream sometimes. I laugh at the fact that he feels like I am an idiot. If only he knew what I am. I could tell him. But I feed off his lies. They strengthen me and fuel me. They keep me safe and as long as he is fucking up and lying to my face I know he can still control himself. I don't want him to lose control. I would have to leave and I need him. But I couldn't risk losing control myself. Either way, it would work. If he starts to catch feelings for me he isn't who I thought he was. What use would he be to me then? He would be just like everyone else. 

Closing the Wealth Gap Essay

The wealth gap is a big issue in the United States. When looking at the wealth gap between races, it comes as no surprise that white families have more wealth than black families. The wealth gap between black and white families has been accumulating since the inception of the United States. It has remained essentially unchanged as well, even though black people's wages are growing

According to the Federal Reserve, white families have eight times more wealth compared with black families. The FEDS Note states that white families have a mean income of $188,200 while black families' median income is $24,100. Due to this wage gap, black families aren't afforded the same opportunity to invest in their communities, start a business, and buy homes and assets

Wealth provides opportunities, and it is more than just how much money a person makes. It is also an accumulation of all of the assets a person owns that can be transferred through generations. According to data from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID), some of the main factors contributing to the racial wealth gap are homeownership, income, unemployment, education level, and inheritance/financial support.  

So how can we combat the racial wealth gap? The most significant contributing factor to the racial gap is homeownership. If more people in the black community could buy homes, that could be a considerable contributor to net worth and wealth. With homeownership, people can invest back into their communities. Schools and other public resources are funded through taxes and an increase in homeownership in those communities could be a driving factor to improve those institutions. 

What can we do right now? We can encourage our families and friends to invest in their communities and buy homes. Point interested people to resources that can help them get started. If you find that someone has questions, try explaining the benefits of ownership. There are many resources to assist first-time homeowners, from down payment assistance to financial counseling. Owning property is a key to building wealth. It can be the first step in closing the racial wealth gap.